Steve Crisp, Visitor Center Manager:

Welcome to The C Report. That's not sea as in ocean; it's C as in Coker. This is the Island's one and only news outlet besides, of course, The Carteret County Beacon, but they're based on the mainland, so what do they know? Just kidding, Mark. Mark Dillon's one of the editors over there and a long-time friend of mine, so I'm sure he's listening, if anyone is.

The reason I'm tempted to believe Mark and his cronies will lend an ear is that I can think of very few things better than checking out a podcast brought to you by a visitor center nestled on the Crystal Coast, besides, maybe, planning a visit to see our shores for yourself, which makes me the perfect host. I'm Steve Crisp, manager of the Coker Island Welcome Center, coming to you from our offices at 8401 Coker Drive.

On today's podcast, we have an announcement from Dina over at Dolphin Books. She's having a sale on New York Times Best Sellers right now. Ten percent off if you mention The C Report. If you like Stephen King, Michael Crichton, or our local guy, Nicholas Sparks, you might want to get down there. I can call Nicholas a local guy, right? Why not? Rumor has it he lives around here. Speaking of rumors, I heard Dick Pendleton was at the bookshop's open mic last Thursday, trying to turn it into a karaoke bar. Let's maybe lay off the sauce before reading our poetry, Dick, you old crooner.

Now, as the visitor center's manager, I'd like to address reports of a couple of strange occurrences on the Island. I will go ahead and warn you that this gets a little out there, so if you're easily spooked, you might want to tune in next time. Because, apparently, there have been sightings of a kelpie at the eastern access point near the refuge. Those of you with small children at home who have memorized the Disney film Frozen II may be familiar with the notion of a water horse. For those of you unfamiliar with Elsa and her pet, kelpies are shape-shifting horse spirits with roots in Irish and Scottish folklore.

You can pick up a book on the subject at Dolphin Books, but that one will be full price. We'll be seeing Bigfoot next. Maybe Sasquatch will be riding the kelpie. Regardless, it seems like Dick Pendleton isn't the only one on the sauce. But, seriously, I want to assure everyone there's no such thing, and those sightings can be attributed to folks who simply want to believe. I should also point out that the only dark horses Dick Pendleton knows of are the ones he's betting on at the track. Right, Dick? Some people will believe anything. As a matter of fact, Dina over at Dolphin Books says she's seen Blackbeard's ghost. That's why Saturdays are seance night in the back of the bookstore.

If that doesn't put this whole thing to rest, perhaps I can further explain it away by pointing out that the colonial Carolinas experienced an influx of Scots-Irish immigrants. And while they gravitated toward the piedmont and mountains, it's hardly a mystery as to how their folklore made it to the coast, and therefore, the so-called Coker Island kelpie—that is said to sometimes appear at dawn before disappearing into the dunes—should, similarly, be considered something less than an enigma. In all likelihood, Susan Cartwright's Great Danes got loose again. Those are some big dogs. If not horse, then pony-size. I hear Dick tried to ride one last summer, and it resulted in quite a few stitches and a nasty scar.

Please understand that this is not an invitation for anyone to head out to the access point when the sun is coming up unless it's to catch the sunrise, snap a few photos of the waterfowl, or go fishing for some mackerel. It's simply an attempt to put this nonsense to rest. The last thing we'd want to do is scare away anyone looking to visit our pristine beaches for a weekend getaway or week-long sojourn. Tourism is our lifeblood, Cokers. And while it would be nice to have some wild horses here, all we have is the Seahorse Restaurant on the corner of Coker Dr. and Market. I'm a big fan of their mahi mahi. That's dolphin fish, everyone—no one's eating Flipper.

Okay, that's been said, so let's share the quote of the day:

The ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together.

That one's from Nicholas Sparks. The book was Message in the Bottle, and in hindsight, perhaps not the best choice for a quote since some kelpies are known to sing. Dick, we're looking at you and that open mic performance. "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning?" I didn't realize you were such a fan of Sinatra. But let me just emphasize that kelpies typically reside in rivers and streams. Therefore, there is very little reason to think we'd find one on our island. I mean, it's a mythical creature, after all.

Enough about that. Some sadder news now. Sherri Bowles over at Coker Island Realty asked me to share that Bill Sanderson passed away last Tuesday. Bill was a friend to many of us Cokers. He moved here several years ago after retiring from an esteemed career in the legal field. Some of you may recall that his oceanfront home was known as The Sand Bar, but he liked to frequent Sharky's. He was a friend and a damn good pool player. He'll be missed. You can contact Sherri to inquire about arrangements, but she wanted me to point out that he would've appreciated a donation to the Outer Banks Foundation.

Meanwhile, Dina over at Dolphin Books would like to share that she believes Bill’s soul was reconstituted into the water horse we've all been seeing. Make of that what you will. I'll put the Foundation in the show notes, but that's it for the report. We'll miss the B.S., B.S. If you didn't catch that, it's a nice way of saying Bill was full of shit. That Bill Sanderson, what a guy.